Vice Comparison
Posted by Daniel Lyons Sat, 19 Jan 2008 07:48:00 GMT
Reasons to consider switching to masturbation for your new vice instead of a MMORPG:
- It’s free
- It’s more fun
- When you’re done, you have something to show for it
- It requires less time. With this extra time you can (but don’t have to):
- Hold down a job (how about that drinking vice!)
- Spend more with non-imaginary friends
- Accomplish more than one task in a given 24-hour period
I’m having trouble coming up with good catch phrases for this new campaign, but I have a few ideas:
- “Be your own whore—not someone else’s!”
- “Human Contact: it’s not just for those who bathe!”
- “Aren’t you neglecting some of your other needs?”
- “You remember that part in the Matrix where they show the tanks with the people inside that are being used as batteries…?”
