Slow News Day?
Posted by Daniel Lyons Mon, 28 Aug 2006 03:36:12 GMT
Let’s talk a little about the obnoxiousness of Page E in the Albuquerque Journal tonight. It’s a big job, and hard to know where to start, but let’s start with what’s above the fold: a giant Enneagram. The daft 9-pointed star is usually obnoxious enough, but now it’s enhanced with a picture of Da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” behind it.
I didn’t know the name of that drawing until I looked it up to write this post, but let’s deviate for a moment and complain about it. It’s almost always hauled out to back up a pseudo-scientific claim. I’m pretty sure one of those shady massage schools around here has it in their logo. What did Da Vinci intend to communicate with that drawing, if anything? Does this image move anyone, anywhere?
Naturally, the appearance of anything Da Vinci brings to mind the Da Vinci Code, which brings to mind powerful knowledge suppressed by The Church. It should bring to mind the concept of poor fiction.
There is a connection between the Enneagram and Catholicism, but I’ll leave that to someone more qualified to talk about it. In a nutshell, the Church said, “people, this is bullshit.” Bullshit isn’t compatible with Catholicism even when it isn’t explicitly anti-Catholic; something very respectable about Catholicism. Anyway, now you’re hearing it from me: it’s bullshit.
Below the fold, we get to more of the good stuff: a picture of Ron Bell, the disgusting Albuquerque lawyer, and his girlfriend (they’re in their forties or fifties), at a furniture store having an argument about a sofa. Apparently, Ron is a “7”, which means he is “versatile, distractible and scattered,” A-grade lawyer material if you ask me—though it does explain the expensive-looking gigolo suit. Apparently the Enneagram helps you through the difficult times in life, such as when you’re a rich playboy lawyer and have to buy furniture for your mansion. Because, G-d knows, that’s what I need help with.
What always surprises me about horoscopes and the Enneagram and similar bullshit is that there is a mentality that goes along with it that almost nobody really has. Does it really seem true to you that everyone you’ve ever met falls into one of nine categories? Does it really seem true to you that everyone you’ve met could fit into one of any number of categories? If it were true, wouldn’t smart people like us simply notice the similarities and re-formulate the system on our own? The Enneagram system tries to distract us by having each type be affected by its “wings,” that is, the types across from each other, but that just makes things more complicated without even meaningfully changing the number of boxes. Western astrology at least tries to complicate things by adding the locations of other objects to the mix.
As long as we aren’t thinking about G-d, truth or reality, I suppose someone is benefitting from all this, but it isn’t the followers.
From time to time I hear strange things in Judaism about this kind of thing. Someone suggested recently that because of Urim and Thummim, Tarot card reading and other fortune-telling must be OK in Judaism. By what reasoning? Urim and Thummim were only available to the king and were lost ages ago. Apart from the strange witch episode in the Torah (a one-time event), nothing else ever appeared to fill the gap. When G-d allowed the second Temple to be destroyed, there was another system which filled the gap. G-d doesn’t take big things away from us which we definitely need. I find it very difficult to believe that my troubles—finding a date, choosing a job, etc.—are of the same caliber as those of national leaders and thus warrant prognostication, if G-d even bothered to preordain them. (I’m not saying he doesn’t have the power to pre-ordain everything, just that I don’t think he does.)
It all smacks of people searching for supernatural reassurances in spite of their faith. Many of the atheists really are on a better track regarding idolatry insofar as they reject the authority of these systems as strongly as valid religions. It’s worth pointing out that the first Noahide commandment is “Do not worship false gods.” That certainly permits a rational atheism that strongly condemns idol worship.
